And you’ll remember what you’ve got to fight for. My biggest fears in life include being in large groups of strange people, standing at parties by myself, and really just people in general. Drunk me didn’t have to worry if I was alone at a party because drunk me didn’t abide such things. Drunk me didn’t worry if she belonged, or said the right thing, or had to have small talk because drunk me just handled that.
Staying sober every day is an incredible feat. Every minute that you avoid relapse, you are proving to yourself that you have the power and capability to make your life what you want it to be. Because sobriety is not always easy, and even if it’s improved most parts of my life, it’s also damaged a few. I think that anyone who is considering https://ecosoberhouse.com/article/support-for-those-who-struggling-with-alcohol-addiction/ getting sober should know the full truth — not to be discouraged, but to be prepared. Regardless of your past, you are in charge of your life, and you have the ability to make positive choices.
If you’re struggling, reach out and ask for help. Reach out to a loved one when you’re feeling down. Even though breakups, job losses, and an unexpected death of a friend or family member, can be devastating, they will all happen at some point. And you need to know that you can make it through without relapsing. Over the past 12 years, Marshall has seen a lot of changes in the way people view sobriety.
Spending sober time becoming familiar with your body intimately can help you better communicate your needs to someone else when you feel ready for that step. This isn’t to say that all of your friends will be threatened, or that all of your friendships will change. Some will certainly remain, but even being sober sucks those aren’t necessarily long-game friendships. Sobriety is kind of like the fast-pass line at Disneyland, except the ride is growing up. So if all of your friends drink alongside you, then there’s no issue, right? Well, there’s a concept in psychology known as “confirmation bias,” and it means that we often look for evidence to support something that we already believe to be true.
They’re part of a sober social club, made up mostly of women in their 30s who want to have fun and make friends without alcohol. In the far corner, about a dozen women in a group are clearly enjoying themselves too, but they are not drinking alcohol. They’re sipping handcrafted mocktails, with names like Baby’s First Bourbon and Honey Dew Collins, featuring nonalcoholic distilled spirits.
“The findings of these studies are actually very surprising,” White says. Health risks linked to heavy, long-term drinking are well known, but this is some of the first evidence to help scientists understand how the body responds to even a short break from moderate alcohol use. The “sober curious” or “sober sometimes” movement started as a challenge for those who felt they’d partied a little too hard over New Year’s weekend. First there was “Dry January,” when people could brag on social media about how they were taking a break from booze.
I once heard someone say, “Abstinence-based recovery is like living with a caged, raging, tiger in your living room. If you open the door for any reason, you know it will kill you. The non-abstinence-based addictions are the same, but you have to open the door to that cage three times a day.” Sounds about right. One of the final projects in my master’s program was to develop a family genogram (a tool used by behavioral health professionals to help clients visually map out their family histories and relationships). After an hour-long fact-finding conversation with my mom, I was speechless.
“It’s everywhere—not just drinking, but overdrinking. It’s assumed that it belongs in every celebration, social experience, date, dinner. So we don’t even question it most of the time.” Becoming sober isn’t just about abstaining from alcohol. It’s a subversive, hardcore choice to take your life into your own hands. It’s an opportunity to grow into your bones, and every single crap thing that happens to you on the way only makes you stronger. It may also be helpful to get to know yourself on your own, first.
This might seem like a terrible thing; this is not a terrible thing. This is a JOYOUS and wonderful thing because it easily sorts out the ones that have a weird relationship with alcohol, or the ones that just aren’t for you. It will hurt (pretty bad at first), but in time you will come to see it as the gift it is—and you won’t waste time getting to know the wrong person. If you’re like most drinkers, you’ve likely surrounded yourself at some point with a group of people who also drink. I’d argue that many of us gravitated to a group of friends who have drinking habits that align with our own, and we did this because we didn’t want sober friends. As you get going, keep a simple chart or use an app that tracks your progress.
Be more realistic about the actual rewards of indulging desires; enjoy waking up from the spells cast – “Drink this! Smoke that! Eat these!” – by addictive hungers. Enjoy how sobriety supports your practices in the upper reaches of human potential, including in spiritual life. Enjoy the freedom in not being compelled to drink, etc. The pleasure in feeling in charge of your own actions, mind, and life.